How many times do I need to learn this lesson? How many times have I left a meeting wondering where I went wrong, only to realize if I would have started with a question I would have been much better off? Too many. That is the answer.

My wise colleague, Julie, taught me this phrase. She always considers how she can start with a question, whether in conversations with students, colleagues, or parents. As Julie and I have discussed this idea over the years, we have come to recognize that starting with a question creates an inviting atmosphere and an opportunity for dialogue. I believe in this idea so much, it is the first line in my Manifesto on Teaching. Starting with a genuine, thoughtful question can help you to not get too stuck in your assumptions. As the stoic philosopher Epictetus said, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” Listening is key, and starting with a question can help.

Last school year, I left a meeting feeling like I had been harsh and not understanding of a colleague. I was retracing the conversation to figure out what went wrong. As I remembered how the meeting started, I realized that I had started by jumping in with my own idea. I came across as not recognizing the good work my colleague was already doing. Instead of being helpful, I came across as a know-it-all. Needless to say, the tone I had then set for the meeting was less than ideal. As I reflected, I realized that if I would have started with a question the entire conversation would have felt differently.

Even starting class with a question can help draw students in. My classes start each day with Bell Work. I have a question posted on the board and the students respond to it for the first few minutes of class. At its best bell work can draw students in, help ensure a smooth transition to class, and provide a jumping off point for the lesson. (At its worst, bell work can be a wasted of time that feels like a busy work task that students despise. More on that in a future post!) Starting with a question honors our students perspectives and gives a space for student voice.

I have a feeling this lesson is one I will continue to learn. It can be hard to not jump right in with your own voice. But, over and over I remember, starting with a question is a great plan. When do you need to remember to start with a question?